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Friday, June 26, 2009

Like a Moth to a Flame

Have you ever wondered what it is about a flame that we're so attracted to? How does a flickering candle "set the mood"? Is there something that happens internally, psychologically, when we see fire? And, when did candles become synonomous with romance?
They say women fall in love with their hearts and men fall in love with their eyes. If this is true, then doesn't it seem that it would be men spending millions of dollars on candles every year?
It's a known fact that men are "visual" characters; this is not to say that women can't be "visual", but the majority tend not to be. Take lovemaking for instance... Men don't worry about the lighting. They don't worry about the place. And, they certainly don't worry if any given position is going to make their butt look fat! Yet, remember... men are visual! On the other hand, the majority of women don't want to have sex with the lights on. Women will actually spend time, during the act of lovemaking, wondering how they look in any given position. Women, believe it or not, will even refuse to participate in certain sexual activities for fear of what their partner may or may not see! And, lets not forget, it's women that spend millions of dollars every year on candles, make up, clothing, and yes... even plastic surgery!
So, the question becomes, are women actually more visual then men? Is it possible that since the beginning of time men have just had it all wrong? What if women really are visual beings? What if we notice everything too? Just what if...and I'm just throwing this out there... what if we're not just being vain? What if we're really just being polite? What IF women are trying to please their partner by looking their absolute best? What IF women consider the lighting because it's only natural that we would want our partners to see us in the best light possible? And, what would happen IF men became as polite and considerate as women? Perhaps then women wouldn't be so hard on themselves and men just might find themselves getting more of what they want! Like a moth to a flame, with a bit more consideration, women will recognize a mans efforts, and he will be greatly rewarded!
And to think... this all happened because of the flame from a candle!


  1. excellent post and very solid observations, the complexity of chemistry between people and the complexity of relationships have confused me for many years - i don''t have any answers but i am still exploring the questions

  2. Hi Gerry ~
    I'm not sure any of us will ever find the answers, but as long as we continue to try to find them, we're heading in the right direction!

  3. As usual Tina, you make us all think about something, I like to think I'm not your typical man, I do care about most things that men don't care about (sounds like a topic for my blog). I guess if men cared more about what women care about, the divorce rate would not be as high. Thanks again for making "us men" think about how we are.

  4. Hi Kevin ~
    I don't think I was trying to get men to "think" about how they are... I happen to love men! I certainly don't want men to start acting more like women! I really just wanted to examine the idea that men are visual, and women aren't...I just think most women worry more about what men may think instead of simply enjoying and living in the moment. Thanks for your thoughts!